Just Breathe
by yumi-maki
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Ino is a good girl. That is why those missions hurt her the most.


**Just Breathe**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**A/N: By those missions, I mean seduction or kunoichi missions or whatever you want to call them. This fic is a bit of a departure from my usual writing style and topic so please bear with me.**

Ino's first solo mission is one of those - the kind of missions that only kunoichi can perform -and as soon as it is finished, she leaves.

She comes straight home, putting all her effort into moving forward so that she will not be tempted to think about what transpired in the place she left behind.

When she reaches the outskirts of Konoha, the first thought bombards her, _'There will be questions.' _

Right now, thoughts and questions are the enemy and Ino wants to avoid them at all costs. But will she be able to?

It is her first solo mission, this her loved ones know. They will want to know what happened - her father, her mother, Chouji, Shikamaru, Asuma and they will ask questions, all of them.

As this thought hits her, Ino forgets to breathe - only for a moment but it happens nonetheless. From then on, her mind shifts its focus from moving to breathing.

_In, out._

This change is vital though because the closer she gets to the village, the harder breathing becomes. When Ino returns to Konoha, it is already night - for this she is glad, she could not handle a bright, blue sky today.

She goes straight to the Hokage's Tower to inform Tsunade of her arrival. She is empty-handed, not yet ready to relive what happened in that place, let alone document it.

Another plus - when she enters the Hokage's office, Tsunade is alone. Tsunade questions her - routine ones - about the mission, all the while watching her sharply, studying her carefully. Ino keeps her head down, eyes glued to the floor, voice monotone.

"Ino?" Tsunade has said many things before but this one reaches her, perhaps it is the sympathy in her voice that does it.

Ino does not want sympathy (although perhaps she needs it) so her response is quick and sharp. "I'm fine."

Tsunade knows this is a lie but she does not press her. She has seen this many times before but it sickens her every time. Her words to Ino are brusque, they sound perfunctory, "In your mission report, write only what is necessary" but they are full of compassion and empathy and most of all, apology.

For the first time, Ino raises her blank eyes to the Hokage's face. She nods her head - it is a testament to her will that even in this state, she understands and she forgives.

She leaves then, slipping out into the hall quietly and as she steps out, her breathing falters. She halts, reminds herself once again to breathe.

_In. Out._

Ino stops in the hall, uncertain for the first time. She cannot go home, not yet ready to face her parents and their myriad of questions. But if she does not go there, where can she go?

She wonders, _'Who will understand?'_

Then she remembers - Sakura knows what kind of mission she left to fulfill. She begins walking before her thought is even finished, headed to Sakura's apartment.

She arrives at Sakura's faster than she expected and she halts outside the door, unable to raise her hand to knock. Her relief, her surety is gone and only doubt and fear remain.

Sakura has never had to take on one of these - can she really understand? What will she think?

_'She can think what she likes - I'm not ashamed,'_ Ino tells herself.

She knows she has no reason to be ashamed - what she has done, she did for the good of the village. She knows this, she understands it - now she just has to reconcile herself to it.

Sakura opens the door just as Ino musters the courage to knock.

All Sakura has to do is look at her, take her in from head to toe and she understands. She says nothing - just ushers her inside, leads her to the couch and sits her down.

Ino does not realize that now she is actually muttering to herself, _'in, out,'_ even though she no longer has to remind herself to breathe. She's afraid of what will happen when she stops.

She feels arms encircle her and she finds herself in Sakura's embrace - here it is warm and comforting and safe. Here, she can finally stop trying to be strong and now she crumbles, within the confines of her best friend's arms.

She finally allows herself to think. With the thoughts come tears and as she cries, she mourns - for her innocence forever lost, for her mind forever damaged and for her heart, forever torn.

Sakura holds her through it all, reminding her in quiet murmurs to breathe.

**A/N: So I hope that this made sense and I hope it was at least kind of good. Please review and let me know - I'm really not too sure about this one. Here's my real Ino fic. This is not meant to be InoxSakura in any way. I wrote this because many people seem to think very poorly of Ino and through this fic, I'm trying to change that.**


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